Familiar Faces
by mmPeachyMoosemm
Summary: After Haley's suicide attempt in 7x19, Nathan calls his brother from the hospital looking for some guidance.


**AN: Consider this an apology story to those waiting for the next chapter of "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" which I haven't updated in almost a year. I am so sorry that I have not found it in me to continue that story and if I ever find it possible, know that I most certainly will. I have a new job where I work with people who have been through a lot of dark stuff, and I haven't yet found it in me to come home and write similar things. But this story has been waiting in the docket: please enjoy!**

Lucas sat straight up in bed, unable to figure out what had startled him awake so violently. He peered about him in the darkness willing his heart to stop pounding so loudly. Then he heard ringing and watched as a soft glow emanated from the nightstand where his cell phone vibrated. Rubbing his face to wake himself up, he snatched the phone up and without checking the caller ID answered while doing his best to keep the yawn out of his voice.

"Hello?" he asked softly, trying not to wake his wife, who for all intents and purposes appeared to still be sleeping.

There was a long pause on the other end, but Lucas was pretty sure he could pick out a sniffling sound. Then a hesitant voice responded, "Lucas?"

Lucas was now completely awake. Forgetting Peyton's presence his next words rose in volume as concern leaked out of his voice. "Nate?" That pounding of his heart in his chest increased. "You okay, man?"

Peyton was apparently finally shaken from slumber as she turned over in bed to face Lucas. Lucas could feel her movements but could still only see her outline in the darkness, so it was probably only his imagination filling in the nervous expression on Peyton's face.

Nathan's voice seemed to change as if realizing something. "Oh, man. It's gotta be after midnight for you guys. Shit, I didn't mean to wake you up." Despite Nathan's sudden concern for Lucas' sleep patterns, it seemed more like Nathan was just trying to avoid something.

Peyton clicked on the lamp hanging over the bed illuminating her face, and Lucas shot her a brief look to indicate his confusion with the call. "No, dude, you know you can call any time. You don't sound so good, Nate. Is everyone okay? Is it Jamie?" Every possible horrible scenario that could have happened in Tree Hill floated through Lucas' mind, and faces kept popping into his head: Jamie, Haley, Brooke, Skills, Mouth … it could be anything or anyone. Lucas found a moment to say a quick prayer to anyone that could hear him: _Please let everyone be okay_.

There was another very audible sniffle across the line. "No, Jamie's fine, he's asleep at home."

Lucas could feel his mind racing again. Jamie was at home, so what was Nathan doing? "Obviously you're not with Jamie, so where are you?"

Nathan cleared his voice and neatly avoided the question, "I'm sorry I called, Luke, I just really needed to talk to you. But you know what, it can wait until morning. Nothing will change tonight." Nathan's voice was full of vulnerability and it sounded like he was crying, or at the very least trying to hold back tears. Lucas had no idea what was happening, but it gave him this horrible sinking sensation. And then somehow he knew. He could never say how, but everything suddenly locked into place.

"Is it Haley?" Lucas asked slowly, almost gently as if approaching a scared rabbit hiding in the grass. He felt a hand grasp his shoulder and then try to rub it soothingly, but the grip was much too tight to provide much comfort. Lucas reached his left hand over to tenderly cover Peyton's tense hand with his.

After a pause Nathan's voice said brokenly, "Yeah, man, it's Hales."

Lucas was desperate for answers but his mind was fighting to remain oblivious. His sense of reality overtook his denial and he asked, voice rising in fearful anticipation, "What happened? Is she alright?" He looked down to see Peyton's hand that was not clasped in his was squeezing the comforter of their bed, tethering herself and holding on for bad news.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Luke. I just … I can't believe it. It just doesn't make sense." Haley was usually the babbler of the couple, dubbed affectionately 'Naley' by Brooke, but obviously Nathan had picked up some of her verbal tendencies in their eight years of marriage.

"Nathan, you've got to talk to me. You're killing me here – is Haley alright?"

"She's … she's going to be okay. Physically, I mean," Nathan began, obviously unsure of the words he was trying to say. Lucas was getting impatient with all of Nathan's hemming and hawing, but he got the feeling that all of the pushing in the world wouldn't make Nathan gather his thoughts any faster. "She … god, Luke … she tried to kill herself."

That was like a sharp stab in the stomach. Lucas could never have guessed that those words would come out of his brother's mouth. He couldn't form coherent thoughts, every part of him was too shocked. He stupidly asked, "What?"

Now Lucas could tell that Nathan was crying in earnest. "She … she's been so distant lately and we knew she was depressed, but I never dreamed …" his words pathetically trailed off.

Peyton's eyes were tracking every movement Lucas made and every word that left his mouth. He had no idea if she could hear what Nathan was saying. He hoped she didn't and wished there was some way to keep her in the dark about this. He shrugged off the feeling and returned to his conversation with Nathan, still heavily reclined in a sea of denial. "Maybe it's not what you think. It was probably a misunderstanding, you interpreted something wrong. Tell me exactly what happened."

Nathan's voice wavered in and out, not contradicting Lucas' refusal but letting the facts do the job for him. "You know she took her mom's death really hard. At first she seemed okay, but then things just got crazy and I couldn't ignore the signs that it was more than grief. I tell you about the piano?"

Lucas took a deep breath, his mind flipping through every recent conversation he'd had with Haley or Nathan. "No, I don't think so."

"I came home this one night and I smelled smoke in the house coming from Haley's music room. I walked in and the piano was on fire and Haley was just sitting on the bench, inches away, just staring at it. She didn't even look up at me, she was just frozen there. I got her away, but she said this thing: she said she needed to go call her mom." Lucas was really not enjoying this story. How had he not known what was going on with his best friend?

"We took her to the doctor's and they diagnosed her with depression, but all the drugs and therapy and everything wasn't working. She just wasn't getting better. Tonight I was checking the phone bill and there were all these calls to Lydia's phone, so Quinn got her mom's phone from the studio and we checked the messages. Haley had left **?** messages, and the last one … it sounded like she was giving up, Luke. And it scared me so bad that Quinn and I went to check on her, but she wasn't in bed." Lucas' stomach twisted. He wanted to tell Nathan to stop talking, he didn't want to hear this. But he had to.

"I couldn't find her anywhere in the house. It was only chance that I even saw her in time." Lucas let out a choked sound, and Peyton gripped his hand tighter, her eyes wide, not understanding what had happened but scared at Lucas' pained reactions. "She's been fascinated with water ever since we spread Lydia's ashes in the bay. And I think another part of me remembered how many times I would look at that pool when I was still in the chair. I looked outside at the pool and didn't see anything at first. I walked closer to the door, and then I could see something dark in the water, and I just ran. I knew, even before my eyes knew, _I_ knew."

Nathan stopped and it didn't sound like he planned to continue. Lucas, his mind still trying to refute this entire, sordid tale said desperately, "Maybe it was an accident. She could have slipped in, or maybe she was just swimming." The words felt trite and ridiculous even as they passed from his lips. But Nathan didn't laugh. He just added the part of the story he had been intending to keep to himself.

"She wasn't planning on coming back up, Luke," Nathan's voice admitted, filled with pain. "When I got her to the surface her lungs were already so full of water, I could hear it when she coughed. And I was holding her and crying and pleading with her and she just looked through me. She wasn't surprised, or grateful, or angry, she was just … numb. Like her soul had already left," Nathan added ominously. Lucas shivered at that image.

There was nothing more to be said. No more excuses to make. It hit Lucas with force. _God, Haley tried to kill herself_. The shock of it made him sick. He had to give up his fight against the truth and support Nathan. Dully he asked, "But she's okay?"

"Like I said, physically she'll be fine. I took her to the ER anyway and they're gonna keep her overnight to make sure her lungs are clear and that she wasn't deprived of air for too long. I think normally they'd send her home, but, um … they're keeping her for observation. Psychiatric observation, I mean. They checked her into the Psych ward and they gave her some stuff so she's asleep now."

Lucas could feel his head nod, even though he knew Nathan couldn't see him. His mind was too numb to control the impulse to physically show he understood what Nathan was telling him.

"You need me to come home, Nate? Do you have somebody there?"

Nathan hesitated a moment, then let out a sad laugh, "You know I'd love you here, but I don't think there's too much you could do. Everything's sort of up in the air right now. You should probably stay put."

Lucas didn't want to push now, but he was already mentally making plans to get tickets, if not for the three of them, then at least for him to fly back to North Carolina. But he did need to make sure that Nathan had someone to lean on now. "I assume you're going to stay with Hales tonight?"

Nathan said softly, "Yeah, that's the plan."

"Call Brooke," Lucas commanded gently. Nathan sounded like he was going to protest but Lucas continued. "You need someone with you, Nate, and you know she'll be there in a second's notice."

Nathan admitted softly, "I haven't told her yet. You were the first person I called. This will crush her. She deserves to have one more good night of sleep before I dump this on her."

"Nathan, I'm so glad you called me first, but you should call Brooke. You know she'll be furious if you leave her out of this until tomorrow."

Nathan let out a wry chuckle, saying, "That's true enough."

"Okay," Lucas said, taking Nathan's comment as consent.

"Listen man," Nathan said softly, the vulnerability back in his tone. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I should have just waited, but … I needed to talk to you." Lucas said nothing, knowing Nathan had something he needed to say. "I failed her, Luke. She's always been there for me, and … I couldn't help her." Silence fell on the other line, but Lucas could still hear movement over the line. "She almost died tonight, Luke. She _wanted_ to die tonight. How do we deal with that? That she'd be willing to leave me, to leave Jamie, to leave all of us? I can't-" Nathan's voice cracked and he fell silent.

Lucas could feel his eyes fill with tears and he whispered, not understanding it himself, "I don't know, Nate. I just … I don't know." Lucas voice gained a little strength as he continued, "But you are a _great_ husband. You didn't do anything wrong, man." Lucas could tell Nathan was crying on the other side of the line and his heart broke for his brother. "Listen, you just be there for her like you have been, but let people be there for you too. I'm gonna let you go so you can call Brooke, or Clay, or whoever so you don't have to do this alone, okay?"

Nathan let out a soft, "Yeah," and then fell silent. Lucas cleared his throat and said, trying to keep his voice steady, "And you give Haley the biggest hug you can for me."

Nathan responded, "I will. Thanks, Luke."

Lucas said, "Yeah. Now go call someone and then be with your wife."

"Okay. See ya, Luke."

Lucas closed his eyes and leaned his hand, with his phone still grasped tightly, against his forehead, sadness and exhaustion emanating from his body. Peyton very softly pulled herself over to him and took his hand, asking, "Luke? What happened?" Her voice shook with withheld emotion, her eyes fearful and full of tears in preparation for bad news.

Lucas studied his beautiful wife's face and then wrapped her in his arms and just held her, wishing that he could remain there and avoid reality. Peyton refused to be soothed without answers and so, still snug in Lucas' arms she said, "It's Haley, right? She's hurt?"

_Oh, if only she knew_. But of course, Peyton did have the right to know, not that it would make sleep that night possible for either of them. Lucas swallowed and breathed in the smell of his wife's curls, drawing some strength from them. "Peyton … Haley tried to kill herself tonight."

Peyton gasped and pulled away. Her eyes looked deeply into Lucas', trying to read the entire story behind his words. Lucas continued, hating how much it hurt Peyton to continue. "She tried to drown herself in their pool." The tears that had been ready in Peyton's eyes since Lucas was on the phone began to trickle down her cheeks, but beyond that she didn't move. Lucas pulled her back into his arms. "I should have been there," he admitted softly. "I should have been there."


End file.
